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Store anything you cannot delete instantly
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What is domestic violence?
A clear definition
Most men think domestic violence means something extreme. Read this carefully.
"Domestic violence is any pattern of behavior used to control, intimidate, or harm someone you are in a relationship with — physical, verbal, emotional, financial, or sexual."
The word pattern matters. It is not just a single incident.
This includes:
Hitting, pushing, or physical force Yelling, name-calling, putting her down Controlling who she sees or where she goes Controlling money or finances Pressuring or forcing sexual contact
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What is at stake
The person you are hurting
"The person you are hurting loves you. Or loved you. She is not your enemy. She is the person you chose. Her feelings are real. Her pain is real. And your actions are influencing both."
Your behavior also puts everything else at risk:
Your children
Loss of custody. Supervised visits. Your children learning that this is normal.
Tap the circle and follow the rhythm. Four cycles.
Tap the circle to begin
In for 4 · Hold for 4 · Out for 4
Grounding exercise
Look around you. Answer each one out loud or in your head.
See
Name 5 things you can see right now.
Touch
Name 4 things you can physically feel.
Hear
Name 3 things you can hear right now.
Breathe
Take 2 slow deep breaths. Feel your feet on the floor.
You are here. You are not in danger. You can choose what happens next.
You did that.
You felt something escalating and you chose differently. That is not small. That is the whole point of this app.
When you go back, listen more than you speak. The conversation is not over — it is just starting from a better place.
"Every time you choose to step away and come back calm, you become more of the man you want to be."
If you're having thoughts of harming yourself, you don't have to handle that alone either — call or text 988, anytime.
Choose Better
Choose Better
Beta · For evaluation only
What this app is
Choose Better is a private, daily tool to help men recognize patterns in their own behavior and make different choices before those patterns cause harm. It is built on the belief that change is possible — and that most men who hurt the people they love do not want to.
What this app is not
This app is not a substitute for a Batterer Intervention and Prevention Program (BIPP), professional counseling, or emergency services. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911. If you are ready for deeper work, a structured program with a trained professional is the right next step.
Your privacy
Nothing you enter in this app is shared with anyone — not courts, not law enforcement, not partners, not advertisers. Your data lives on your device only. You can delete everything at any time in settings.